Shipwrecked Angel

How to shift your reality now

If Wishes were Horses and Beggars could Ride

on April 9, 2012

This phrase popped up in my rather fertile imagination today after eating too many chocolate Easter eggs.  I must confess to something of a sweet tooth, but prefer consuming only the finest Belgium chocolates, well, at least

Rudyard Kipling's House - Batemans

Rudyard Kipling's House - Batemans (Photo credit: Shaun Case)

chocolate with a cocoa ratio of over 70%.  I trust most of my readers will agree with this cocoa content.

As an aside here, I am impressed – and very happy – that I have a contingency reading my blog from The Netherlands, and am convinced that you also have excellent chocolate, however, I haven’t had the good fortune to sample it yet, so must defer to the Belgium variety.  However, I do know there are some excellent regression therapists in the Netherlands, and I have had the good fortune to meet both Marion Boon and Hans Ten Dam, so in the absence of any imminent speaking engagements in Europe, I leave the readers on the Continent in entirely capable hands, with excellent therapists.  (They are both very good writers as well, see the link at the end of this blog.)

Now for those of you wondering about the headline of today’s post, this is the background, sourced from Wikipedia.“If wishes were horses, beggars would ride” is an English language proverb and nursery rhyme, originating in the 16th century, which is usually used to suggest that it is useless to wish and that better results will be achieved through action.So, you see, it does have some relevance to my writing, as my topic today is loosely centred on the concept of fear – and inspiration.In addition to eating chocolate, I also watched a movie today called “The Proposal”, which isn’t your typical Easter Sunday show.  As the name suggests, when the leading character proposed, (at the end of the movie), the rather unromantic response from the heroine was that it would be easier if she just left, as she was scared.  (Note:  she didn’t say NO.)

And that phrase got me thinking…How many times in our life do we make choices based on fear?  And how does that impact the quality of our life?

It seems to be that we are trained to maintain, reach or achieve a state of fear.

From early childhood, we are conditioned to the fear response stimulus:

“Don’t do this.  Don’t do that.  You might get hurt.  You might be hurt. “

And so we quickly develop strategies and tools to stay safe.

Of course, small children need boundaries, or they will be at risk.   But at the age of 21, we are full-grown, and no longer children!  And yet, as adults, we have so much difficulty in letting go of this accumulated fear.

On the one hand, we have our innocence and childhood wonder knocked out of us, (in order to keep us safe), and on the other extreme, as adults, we often end up living in a state of fear that something bad might happen to us IF we are not extra cautious, due to that childhood conditioning.

Good grief!  No wonder we are so afraid to trust our hearts!

And this reminds me of a wonderful poem by Kipling, which some of you may know, and if you haven’t read it before, you are in for a treat.

The book poster for "The Jungle Book,&quo...

The book poster for "The Jungle Book," by writer Rudyard Kipling, published by The Century Company, New York, $1.50. Courtesy of the New York Public Library Digital Collection (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

However, I will warn you in advance, please do not pay heed to the final line about making a man out of you – no offense to the women readers out there – I am one of them!  You must remember that Kipling, who received a Nobel prize for literature in 1907, wrote during the time of the British Empire.   He is, of course the author of the famous “Jungle Book”, so definitely possessed an abundance of vision and imagination.

 IF

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
if you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
if you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
and treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
‘ Or walk with Kings – nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man, my son!

-       Rudyard Kipling (1865 – 1936)

Enough said.  See you tomorrow.

http://www.earth-association.org/articles/by-earth-president-hans-ten-dam

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16 responses to “If Wishes were Horses and Beggars could Ride

  1. Carol Andrew says:

    Many times I have faced fear in my life and found a way over it, through it, under it or around that fear to create a happy fulfilling life.

    Thanks for the reminder to keep going.

  2. So true. I catch myself at times acting or making decisions out of fear, other times perhaps less consciously. How sad eh?

    And by the way, though I was born in Holland (aka The Netherlands), I still prefer dark chocolate – elsewhere as they specialize in milk chocolate – from Europe! ;)

  3. elly stornebrink says:

    I just realized having breakfast that Holland does make fine cocoa (with sugar preferably). Otherwise, I too prefer dark chocolate from other European countries including and in particular, melt-in-your mouth Belgium chocolate. ;) <3

  4. Hans TenDam says:

    At an APRT-conference the keynote speaker told of his first encounter with spirituality. The coach told him to close his eyes and see a candelabre with three burning candles, each with a different colored flame. He saw a golden flame, a sky blue flame and a brown flame. The coach was shocked: such flames are not supoosed to be brown! Suddenly the speaker realized the meaning of that flame: enjoying earthly life and earthly pleasures! And he was reminded of the saying: A life without chocolate is not worth living. As to our modern chocolate, a Dutchman invented it around 1890. Dutch chocolate is good, Belgian chocolate is better – and don’t forget Swiss chocolate!
    As to fear, my frustrations are not about things that I didn’t dare to do, buth things I dared to do, but were hopeless disappointments. Since, I cut down on hope a bit, but did not increase fear. A good life boils down to coutage, wisdom and good-luck. Much was passes for wisdom is just lack of courage. And much that passes for courage is just unwisdom.

    • ariannablack says:

      Thank you for your insightful post about chocolate, earthly life and earthly pleasures. That is a wonderful contribution. It is also fascinating to me about the perception held by the coach: “flames are not supposed to be brown”. We spend so much of our life on what we are supposed to be doing rather than what we truly want to be doing, which erodes our soul.

      I love your quote: may I attribute it to you?

      “Much that passes for wisdom is just lack of courage. And much that passes for courage is just unwisdom”. Han TenDam. I might have to Tweet it! With your permission, of course.

  5. Perhaps every time we feel fear, we should eat some love-based chocolate! ; )

  6. Simply desire to say your article is as amazing. The clearness on your post is simply great and that i can suppose you are a professional on this subject. Well with your permission let me to snatch your RSS feed to keep updated with drawing close post. Thanks one million and please carry on the gratifying work.

  7. Davidya says:

    Fear is profoundly tied to the identity and some is deeply subconscious. The key marker is resistance. When we’re holding back from doing what we know is right, its good to check feelings. Anger is often a covering for fear too.

    What i’ve found most interesting is how challenging this can make being in our purpose.

    • ariannablack says:

      Great comments here David, thank you. I just love this post. Can I say that? Am I being immodest? Does it matter?

    • Susan Ebling says:

      For me fear is merely an instinct for survival when I KNOW there is danger in my course of action. I FEAR what may be the very real possibilities of results who’s consequences I am going to have to deal with. I do not let it CONTROL me though, only INFORM me. As to “anger” …I find that it works FOR me as a very powerful tool. Typically it clears my head marvelously for a start. If I am angry I know it is time to reset boundaries and I then use the energy to create and maintain those new boundaries. I do not see being angry as a nonconstructive state. But a call to action within my own being.

      • Davidya says:

        Hi Susan
        Sounds like you’ve done your work. Many people have more reactive emotions that are a result of unresolved prior feelings. Many of these are fear-based, even if its not apparent. Anxiety, for example is usually a response to unconscious fear. Some teachers walk people through their emotions (such as in inquiry), revealing that within the myriad of feelings is fear. Beautifully, when they walk the person further, under that fear is either peace or happiness. Under the resistance is what we’re looking for.

  8. Susan Ebling says:

    About chocolate at Easter – Ok this story is so funny but I can’t find the original source on this so you’ll just have to take my word for it – About 1550, the nuns of a Mexican convent made the bitter drink more palatable with the addition of vanilla and sugar and became so enamored of the concoction that they stop doing their spiritual duties and focused solely on the making and eating of chocolate. The Pope issued a Papal Bull against nuns eating chocolate – which the sisters ignored…lol…now days what would Easter be without a chocolate bunny or two?

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