Shipwrecked Angel

How to shift your reality now

The Pig Farmer’s Wife

on April 14, 2012

Do you remember that 1979 song by Michael Jackson?  “She’s out of my life? “

Statue of Michael Jackson in Eindhoven, the Ne...

Statue of Michael Jackson in Eindhoven, the Netherlands (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I prefer the updated version:  He’s out of my life.

He’s out of my life
He’s out of my life
And I don’t know whether to laugh or cry
I don’t know whether to live or die
And it cuts like a knife
He’s out of my life
It’s out of my hands
It’s out of my hands
To think the two years he was here
And I took him for granted I was so cavalier
Now the way that it stands
He’s out of my hands

That’s how I felt yesterday.

So for those of you who noticed my scintillating profile on Garfield, the cat, and said:  What?   Is Arianna taking a day off?  The answer was:  Yes!  And Garfield was a rather good guest blogger, don’t you think?  He may not have had much to say for himself, other than his usual one-liners, but he held the energy rather nicely.

You see, it’s my ex-boyfriend’s birthday and he lives across the hallway from me.  This will be the first time in two years that we haven’t celebrated together, so I had to get really clear on the truth.  He’s out of my life; (even as a friend), yet lives three-feet away from me.  I sometimes call it the “hallway situation”.  Is there a politically correct way to deal with this?  I think not.

I know it’s time to move.  I’m working on it.  This is part of my reality shift, okay?  I understand, and more importantly accept, that it isn’t always a good idea to keep on keeping on, even when dealing with the practicalities of moving home.  I told myself that I didn’t want to move because of him; I didn’t want to give away my power and be forced to move because of my neighbour.    Although I can be prone to hyperbole, in this case, I speak the truth.   I had to deal with the reality of women banging on his door, day and night.   Seriously, I am not exaggerating here.  I don’t know what happened to visitors knocking politely on ones’ door – perhaps that is the English side of me, where I move into an automatic acceptance of form and decorum.  They have a term for that in England:  the done thing.  Maybe, it’s the done thing to bang on doors in Vancouver, and I missed the Tweet.  Silly me.   Be that as it may, Garfield gave me some needed time out, and by giving me time-out, proved a point.

Shifting our reality is all about making new choices, or at least making a choice.  Although I have resisted the idea of moving away, I have now accepted that I am actually not proving anything to anyone by staying put.  Quite the contrary.  I am being true to myself by accepting it is time to move on; I am being true to myself by making a new choice for me.

So making good choices is the theme for today.  I would go so far as to call it Key No. 3 in my list.

I have been open and receptive, as you know, to what is going on in my world, in order that I can be present with myself as I learn the tools and techniques to shift my reality.  Today, I heard a wonderful story about making a choice.  It went like this.

My friend’s daughter said to my friend:

“Does dad know that your high school boyfriend contacted you? “

And actually this is quite a loaded question from a 19-year old because she probably knows that a high proportion of relationships are started by people reconnecting on FB. (See the link:  Facebook a top cause of relationship trouble.)

As it happens my friend is very happily married, and said to her daughter:  “Yes, I told him all about it”.

“And what happened?” asked her daughter.  She had now become quite curious.

pigs in CAFO (concentrated animal feed operati...

pigs in CAFO (concentrated animal feed operation) Deutsch: Schweine in Intensivtierhaltung (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“Well, first of all, it’s the past.  I haven’t seen him since I was 18-years old.  Your father knows that I loved him, and I always will.  He was an important part of my life.  But I had to make a choice about what kind of life I wanted for myself.  You see, he’s a pig farmer, and if I married him, I would be a pig-farmer’s wife.  There’s nothing wrong with that, but it’s not what I wanted for myself.  I wanted a different life, so I chose your father.”

Seriously, I am not making this up.

Can you imagine having such wisdom and insight at the age of 18?   When I was 18, I was trying to decide which guy was cuter and cooler.  I had absolutely no awareness that:

a) the girl, actually has the power to choose in relationship.  I mean, really?  Now at the age of 39 and a little, I am beginning to take this on board.

b) knowing at such a young age that making a life decision not to marry someone, especially when you are in love with them, has long-term implications if they have a different life plan ahead of them.

c)  I don’t know.  Maybe it’s just me.  I guess I am a late bloomer – beginning to bloom now – maybe?

But I believe that my friend would not have a melt-down just because she lived next door to her ex-boyfriend and he is throwing the party of the century.  (And I’m not invited.)   His new girlfriend is apparently very jealous.  So what, right?  It’s just nice to be acknowledged.

My friend, who is very clearly aware of her power and her choices, would probably have had the wisdom to avoid him in the first place.

What would Garfield say?

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7 responses to “The Pig Farmer’s Wife

  1. Carol Andrew says:

    Life is all about choices and what we learn from those choices.

  2. […] The Pig Farmer’s Wife( […]

  3. Davidya says:

    After reading this, I recalled a little family history. My older sister’s husband worked in IT. Then one day, he and a partner decided to become pig farmers. They moved to a farm in a distant town and she became a pig farmers wife…. true story. So even with the choice she made, life changes. One never knows…

  4. Susan Ebling says:

    All I can say is OMG! Look at that HUGE statue of Michael Jackson in of all places, the Netherlands! Oh, and poor little piggy-wigs horrible living conditions!

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